he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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