no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize