i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
don't judge my taste in strippers
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
