her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
