Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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