we have officially lost it.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to make out with him forever
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
