So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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