the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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