So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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