Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
