Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
