need another drink. this is the easiest way
You just made me feel so damn special
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
