Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She bit a glass in half.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
