tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize