dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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