my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
