i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just high enough for therapy.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
