There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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