I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
