Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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