McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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