i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
