i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
