last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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