i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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