apparently the secret to your success is patron
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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