to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
