yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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