yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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