What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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