Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
