I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
