I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
