we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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