office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
