why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
