I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
