BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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