Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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