White coat. Heels.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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