my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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