one two three fourrrrnication!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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