the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
