Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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