We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
