he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
