Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
