yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
