i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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