is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
