i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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