I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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