so that wasnt chicken after all
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize