So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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