it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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