Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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